Moving to Ireland - a spiritual quest | part 2

Energetic & Emotive Detox:

Simultaneously clearing out, decluttering, disposing, recycling, giving away, selling, upcycling: Make space. Don't hold on to anything you no longer need.

Phew!

Take a deep breath!

*sneeze*

Oh, still dusty: clean the apartment/house & prepare the garden for the coming planting season. Add compost to the beds. Sort the seeds. Draw up a sowing plan. Get going again after the winter rest.

And then, of course, look inwards.

Soul & Heart Spring Cleaning includes questions such as:

• What patterns/conditioning/perceived truths/unhealthy habits/toxic relationships am I holding on to?
• What wounds are behind them? Which undigested emotions of my parts are connected to each of these?
• What do my soul aspects need from me to be able to move/release/heal/change this?
• What can/should I as a SoulSelf move/change/dare to really let the emotions come up so that I can then feel and digest them more deeply?

This year, everything is running like clockwork for me (even if it's not entirely effortless): I have hardly any clutter because I've been doing this for years and everything always stays in flow. That makes me very happy. It feels very relieving.

This year, of course, I'm asking myself even more: what can I get rid of and what do I really want to take with me into my new chapter of life in Ireland? I have given away/sold almost all the books on spirituality and psychology. My bookshelf now contains almost only books on permaculture and self-sufficiency, herbal medicine, fasting and other alternative medicine. Ok and Leon's books on systemic-holistic business consulting 😉

Quitting the rat race; living your passion

I have met many inspiring people over the past year: people who aspire to a similar lifestyle to the one I love and want to deepen. What was interesting for me was that almost everyone said “they needed to quit the rat race to live a better life”. That gave me pause. i was actually never IN the rat race in the first place.

After I chose to leave University behind for an alternative training & degree as a healing practitioner, because the latter at least came closer to my inner conviction than the conservative psychology/medicine and the pure academic paradigm of the university and I repeatedly experienced such humanly appalling ways of dealing and handling things during my time at university that it simply didn't feel right to continue my training there, I went straight into self-employment.
For a short while, I worked as a freelance lecturer for medicine, psychology and phytotherapy at various Berlin schools for alternative medicine while I built up my own practice.
None of that felt like a rat race. I always loved what I did to earn money and it always interested me a lot. Inspired to explore further and further. It had to do with myself.

Yes: it was also exhausting and extremely time-consuming, especially at the beginning. I spent months writing scripts into the night to develop teaching concepts and taught during the day as well as looking after/supporting my first clients. That was exhausting. But I still loved it and learned so much.

Yes, I also had encounters with colleagues and other interpersonal relationships that felt strange and painful. However, I don't want to say that I would have preferred to do without them, on the contrary: looking back, I can see with a sense of conviction how much I grew from them. How much it made me ask myself again and again: 'Ok, something is going very wrong here, I'm sure I've played my part in it... But how can I still be as coherent and healthy as possible here, regardless of what kind of twisted shitstorm is coming from over there? What does it mean in such an ugly situation to come from love & truth instead of fear/power/control/submission/domination/false pride/cowardice/anger/victimization/truth-in-service ect.pp?'
It has trained me to not just ask myself “What is my truth right now?” (and that can be hard enough), but to practice differentiating that some truths come from protection and wounding rather than from SoulSelf: So, what is my healthy, soulful self´s truth?

What is passion/vocation and does everyone absolutely have to find/live it?

I have often asked myself over the last 20 years, especially in challenging moments: if money didn't matter; if money was no longer a means of exchange on this planet; if everyone could just have everything and live the way they want without being dependent on money or anything comparable, would I continue to work with people? Offer sessions, seminars & groups? And the answer was and is very clear: Yes.
So, no rat race here. I have been working in my passion for 20 years and am very grateful for it.

my motivations for the simple, slow, conscious, close-to-nature life have more to do with DivineYin and Soul Embodiment than with getting out of or escaping from something. It is rather a deepening & embodiment of something IN me.

In addition to sessions/“working” with people, my passion has long been creativity. In my youth I loved composing & making music as well as painting and writing poems and stories; those were my means of soul and heart expression. A way to show myself and bring what is inside to the outside. Interestingly enough, these means of expression took a back seat for a long time during my inner healing: I think because it was important that my parts had to find another, more direct, more intimate, more relational form of expression in order to feel truly felt (by me and my facilitator at the time); to land more fully on earth and among people.
But slowly and gradually, art and creativity found their way back into my life, but no longer out of necessity or to express myself. I now prefer to cover songs rather than write them myself. Well... maybe the odd love song for Ireland 😉

A few years ago, another passion arose: permaculture & self-sufficiency. Few things excite, interest and fulfill me more than growing my own food; sowing, tending and harvesting. making my own creams and lotions. Fermenting food or processing it creatively in other ways. Making my own soap, toothpaste and shampoo. Making oxymels and tinctures, herbal teas and essential oils. Bake my own bread and cookies. Create bread spreads and pestos. (Recipes will follow if required 😊).

my heart rejoices at all these activities. Well, often it doesn't work out so well at first. my shampoo bars tended to look more like weird pancakes the first few times. But my hair purrs every time it is washed with it.

Learning and optimizing all these skills, here in the density of the ErrathLogos (earthly plane), being able to create, design and manifest something good/healthy/ beautiful myself, brings me deep joy of heart and soul fulfillment. Stuffing socks or sewing small projects in front of the fire in the evening. Or sorting my seeds for the next season and planning the garden...

Having said all that, I would like to emphasize and possibly set the record straight that I am now convinced that by far not every currently incarnated soul is here to find & live their passion. So if you are reading this and are frustrated or feeling bad/inferior/incompetent/under pressure because you have no idea what your passion might be but think you need to find it in order to live a full life, then you can also ask yourself instead if it might not be that you are actually here for a healing life rather than anything else: To uncover issues and soul wounds that have accumulated over many lifetimes, to bring them into your heart and consciousness and to move them forward or bring them to a conclusion in a healing way. If the focus is very much on this, it may be that there is no inner space, no strength, no impulse for Passion (currently or for the entire incarnation): either until a critical point is reached on this healing journey or not at all for this life. Also good.

The important question is: what is calling you? Why are you here in the first place according to your own current feelings?

Wintering

It is immensely important to “winter” in order to go deep within ourselves; into our inner caves, even into our inner darkness (if it still exists and has not been dealt with and loved back to Light/Love yet), in order to ask ourselves what needs your healing and attention.
But also to find out what we really want and desire. To curiously and lovingly sort out which of our desires come from essence/love/joy/abundance and which from protection/compensation/wounding/lack?

What do I, SoulSelf, want to bring more into the world? Show more of myself? Give of myself and contribute?

What do I want to sow (literally & metaphorically) in the coming spring, as soon as light is in sight, in order to harvest it later?

Which inner & outer ‘project-babies’ do I want to conceive/incubate and give birth to?

Which soul desires do I want to manifest?

What of my inner self wants to come out more?

This doesn't have to be a passion in the sense of a vocation. Just feel what stirs within you when you dwell on these questions. What releases deep, touching joy in your heart? What feels inspiring and fulfilling? Even if you should never earn a living from it, simply as an expression of joy, love & creativity. Something that nourishes your heart, soul & body.

I'll be writing the next chapter of this diary from Ireland.
Until then, my Loves.
Iona

*This does not constitute medical advice and does not replace an individual consultation with a doctor/health practitioner: it is purely intended as a suggestion and information, so that you can continue your own in-depth research on this basis and design a plan tailored to you and your body with appropriately trained medical professionals. Especially if your body has a lot to detoxify, caution is advised and professional support is strongly recommended!